The Monologue of Dostoevsky

 

An exploration of Dostoevsky’s themes in contemporary poetry of:

Suffering and emotional purgatory.

Longing for redemption through love.

The inner war between past and future.

Channelling his core existential concerns through a deeply personal, vivid voice.

Can a soul haunted by the past ever truly be free?

And is redemption still possible, not through God or repentance but through love?

And does suffering lead to transformation?

The Monologue of Dostoevsky

(A lone voice whispers)

Yes,

You say it's over 

Finished between you and me

Well, I'll confess

Our flame has gone out 

You yell, it's s time to leave, to go and find someone new

But why does my heart still cry and bleed for you

Whenever I hear those two words which always turn me blue

It's over

Its over and over again

Two words which has broken our spell with no pity

Spoken when I made my oath of fidelity 

All those sad feelings of self-worth return

Knowing deep down there'll never be another girl for me, here on this poor old Earth

As our beautiful love song goes up in flames and burns

I've moved out my things

Packed my three bags and took off my golden wedding ring

Did everything you asked 

So there I stood

Three years ago

By our much loved green garden gate

Under that old familiar lamp post

Waving bravely goodbye

Turning that grey key in my broken heart

Locking up that old tired red door

Since you said you couldn't love me, whatever I said like before 

You might still be the only one who stood by my side 

A friend I thought I could trust until the very end till I died 

But I guess God doesn't make them like he once used to

Any more

Is this the price you pay, when you're still in love

With your dream girl from next door

But now I'm moving on

For I just need someone new to love me

So I can open up that once closed door 

With my grey key

Yes,

You still say it's over 

Finished between you and me

Well, I'll confess our flame has gone out 

You yell

It's time to leave

To find someone new

Yet, why does my heart still cry and bleed for you

Whenever I hear those two words, which still turns me blue

It's over and over again

Two words which has broken our spell 

As all those sad feelings of self-worth return

Knowing there'll never be another girl for me 

Here on this Earth

As our beautiful love song, goes up in flames and burns

I moved out my things

So I've now packed three of my worn camo bags, and taken off my Golden Shield 

My old wedding ring

Done every last task you ever asked

So here I stand

In Sweden watching and waiting 

By a new green garden gate

Under a strange white lamp post

Smiling, but bravely waving goodbye to my old life, with a controlling wife

As passing, angels sing

Fyodor Dostoevsky

It's time to move on

Before it's too late

Go through that gate and love Selma

Your new girlfriend from next door, we've sent whose love for you

Will never run out of date 

(C)

Copyright John Duffy 

Image: Google.