Blessed be.
Velumbound.
This is a powerful and raw transmission that tries to capture the profound grief, anger, and despair of watching a loved one endure a painful end-of-life struggle under palliative care.
It moves from intimate, tender memories of a shared life to a bitter, haunting resentment of the clinical environment and the medical staff.
Ultimately, the speaker is left in overwhelming sorrow, experiencing their own emotional and physical exhaustion as they mourn beside the coffin.
Shall we begin?
(A lone voice whispers)
I have lived and loved
Lived and rose every morning
With you
But after listening
To the sweet, soft sounds, only I was privileged to hear
The slow rise and fall of your chest
As you fought for air and each breath
Those midnight visitors
Dressed in blue
Brought
The nurses who I now know all drive metaphorical hearses
Who administered your syringe driver
Who I now nickname
No survivor
Oh, how you fought
Fought like a true Spartan until the end
This card I leave in your coffin, as I too now have a slow rise and fall of each breath
As I kneel each day and pray for death
(C)
Copyright John Duffy
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