Memories of Mary Jane

 

Blessed be. 

Velumbound. 

This transmission explores grief, addiction, and the enduring nature of first love. 

Written from the perspective of a 75-year-old man in a nursing home, the piece utilises a frame narrative to contrast the warm, vivid memories of youth with the cold, isolated reality of old age and impending death. 

The transmission illustrates how addiction consumes everything—first emotional connection ("left me feeling lonely and cold"), then financial stability ("swallowed up / All our hard-worked for gold"), and finally, life itself.

The turning point of the narrative is the death of the girl's father. 

Her inability to cope with this loss drives her to addiction, which ultimately destroys her life and her relationship with the speaker.

Death does change you in so many ways. 

Shall we begin? 

(A lone voice whispers. )

In the twilight hours

Just when the grey clouds

Break and the slow moon rises

Silently announcing it's getting too late

I still always wake to remember that auburn-haired girl

I once used to date

Her bright green eyes  

And twinkling wide smile

All things  

Young boys dream of  

And for them

To go that extra mile

But like all things that came to pass

Our love withered the night her beloved pa died

I tried to hold her hands  

To console her

Prayed God would wipe away all those wet tears she cried

But that new hole in her arm

Which soon swallowed up

All our hard-worked for gold

Always left me feeling lonely and cold

It all ended the fateful night

On June the first  

When the rains fell

And life was a constant fight, and everything seemed on top

Filled with thirst

With my wallet and her purse empty

She got that feeling 

To go stealing 

Only to get shot dead by the cops

I can still see her now, even after all these sad passing years

Now I'm old and grey  

Sat in this nursing home

Feeling all alone and filled with so many dry tears

I guess those memories of my youth will still linger and will never stop

It's quite crazy now that I'm on morphine to ease the pain

Those images of her standing in the kitchen

With those beautiful green eyes and wide beaming smile

Cooking and singing 

Some Motown tune

While outside it rained

Still play around the cinemas

In my brain

As I even now 

At seventy-five  

Remember  

Echoes of my first and last love

My beloved wife and lifelong addiction  

Called Mary Jane

My love for you  

Wherever you are

Will always survive 

And until we are once more  

Reunited

Will always remain

If you can hear this

Just know I still treasure those memories of us

The ones where you were free and truly alive

(C)

Copyright John Duffy