The letter left behind

 

(A lone voice whispers)

So many soldiers suffer from the trauma of theatres of warfare.

I recently watched a sad film of someone reaching out but struggling to reconnect with his wife. 

It inspired this voice to whisper it seems. 

Salute.

The letter left behind

Will you just try to smile for me

As I still ride one of this life's many wild and untamed immortal ponies

So two can never really feel lonely

As we both try to embrace the spiritual which is so holy

And fulfil some of the signs which in deep dreams

Have been shown to me

To be the love songs of so many doomed soldiers 

Who once sang together 

Covered in the wet mud or dark coloured sands 

From here in Iraq in The Middle East all the way back to Gallipoli

Some may still choose to sing feverish old pagan gossip songs  of disown him

Leave him and his mental health issues

But have they ever had a friend like me 

I can still remember when I was once unjudgemental 

An easy ear to listen to

A shoulder to lean on and I can relearn all those traits if only you'll wait

For in this life it's never too late 

Even though it's not always physical but mostly remotely 

Will you just try to smile for me as I still try to ride one of this life's wild and untamed immortal ponies 

A testimony of slowly accepting the feelings of being emotionally damaged through continuous exposure to physical and spiritual physiological warfare 

Caused by fighting for my country 

To never recognise that deep down it's just one of those sad reasons why I always feel lonely 

But still, I'll stand strong holding out this invitation

Waiting for you once again 

To climb upon my wild pony 

And hold on as we ride together like a fearless Geronimo 

Throughout what remains of this life  

Through hell and high water 

Until we meet the metaphorical shores of the blue Caribbean sea

So we can once again turn friendships golden divine keys

To embrace all that comes hand in hand 

Whatever it be

I can only pray you'll still want to ride with me 

As I try to stand faithful and strong before this new war

Filled with not grey or black bullets or incendiary bombs but of emotive fires and volatile storms 

I can only pray you'll hold me real close

In the middle of the night 

And try to love me totally and keep me warm and whisper everything is going to be alright 

So I can still smile for me so two can never really feel lonely

As we both embrace the spiritual which is so holy

So we can ride together to try to find true happiness 

Like we once had and shared when I was so much younger when my mind was free and I was open to everyone who cared

and into that oncoming sunset 

Clinging on to one of this life's many tragic ponies

All I can hope for is a second chance and you find it in your heart to forgive me and know that I poured my heart and soul into this and really mean every word

Copyright John Duffy