Part 2 of the Good Father.
Press play before reading. Salute.
(A sad voice whispers)
Two of the hardest things you'll ever face in your life
Wherever it's your time to reside in here
The Great Other Side
Is to find the courage to say Hello
To the one, you truly loved but broke
And then the profound strength to pay your respects
To then whisper
Goodbye
And so it is with me after I died
For whenever I pause in these quiet tranquil moments
Sat in here
All by myself
By the moving rocks and lost in deep thoughts in this swirling grey smoke
That would make any living person choke
Now I'm a citizen of The Great In-Between
I sometimes still think about all those long hot Summers nights
So long ago
When we all once walked by the churning Hawaiian blue sea with the children
When we were so much younger
Before sweet temptation called like a thief in the night
You playing role of the good father
And me the loving mother and faithful lover
As we all walked hand in hand like
Dorothy Gale
The Scarecrow
Tin Woodman, and the Cowardly Lion
Through that wet weather and unforgettable thunder
Like we were totally unafraid to be seen
Like some of Zeus's immortals
I still get drenched with tears by the sweetest thoughts of you all and me
Walking by that bright yellow ice cream parlour by the raging blue sea
Memories of a fierce love
Which must have shone like a lighthouse beacon for miles around and made such a glorious sound
Angels flying above watching
Must have felt a magical vibration
For it was a love many could only dream of
For it seemed so damn gorgeous and profound
The hot yellow city lights
I sometimes remember still carry vivid memories
Of an extraordinary time, where we all held each other's soft hands
And everything seemed to be just alright in the early Eighties
But like a pale white vulnerable feather
Blowing carefree in the Four Winds
Crazy blustery weather
I then always remember
What I did
For my Guardian Angel
Argento
Showed me my life replayed
In Sacred Dream Theatre
All those pivotal moments where I was happy or sad
In fact, all moments when I still lived with so much to give
I'm so sorry
How I foolishly surrendered to the whims
Of the Dark Gatherer of all Mortal Temptations
And like an act from the Devil's favourite playbook
Our intense love was viciously ripped from our carefully constructed cross of truth and true love
By my machiavellian actions
Where I hid my secret side like a devious crook
To slowly and tragically trick you all
And within each guilty passing second, it became easier
As I cast all those immoral rotten feelings into my invisible closet of the Forgotten
And following in turn
Lied to so many others
Casually dismembering our once true love once found at 18
As I became more lost in the trap of Dissociation by Association
Now I sit alone in the dark trying to sing sad Adele songs
Knowing deep down there's no chance of Redemption
Now I guess when I reflect
Me and my secret lover were like two painful characters from a dystopian fantasy called Twelfth Night
A terrible version of a classic Shakespearean Play
No one cares or even wants to remember
But I'll still treasure and carry our early beautiful memories everywhere I go as
Even though I saw on the Sacred Dream Theatre
You read my black diary
But now I'm free from the clutches of life and all its complicated and sometimes crazy games
Temptation demands the weak play
I'll always treasure all footsteps walking in unison by the Hawaiian blue sea
As the rare passing Kiwikiu watched us
The children
You and me
Memories of a fierce wild unrestricted love
Which still shines so bright today like it once originally did before I died
Always return
A bright glimmer I once saw in the Theatre
Which towered all above the hot yellow city lights
Of a time we all once held soft hands
And the future seemed so full of auspicious things
Which resonated with so much bright yellow sunlight
Beloved memories of us all singing
We're off to see the wizard
Watching The Wonder Years
Eating popcorn by candlelight
All the way to trying to keep warm throughout all those cold but soul-thrilling December winters nights
Roasting marshmallows and eating them by firelight
A time when the world seemed so still perfect and filled with so much heartwarming delight
And all the gossips about me by racketeers were carefully hidden out of sight
I still miss you
My beloved
My only true love who played the role of the good father as I cheated
If only I could just hear your lovely soothing voice
In this neverending twilight
I wouldn't feel so defeated
I'm sure it would help push back this ever-swirling darkness
And show me my own Yellow Brick Road to Saint Peter and Heavens welcoming bright white lights
But I still hate myself for finding the courage to say
Hello to your twin brother
Luca
And now
After all these years
I've now finally found the strength to let you go and say Goodbye
I can't keep haunting you
Sitting by our now cold martial bed
Watching you sleep since the children have grown and left
Leaving you all alone
I'll go now but will always remember you as I pray to be forgiven to ascend
You and my beloved children
Sara Lee and Stanley
Your one true love who the devil tempted and led her to his Met Gala of the Disloyal
Until her very end
But one day
I pray when you too wake in the Great In-Between
We'll start over and make up
Yours forever
Your eternal soulmate whose once mortal name was plain old Sara Deville
From 445 Jacksonville
Try to forgive me, my Lawrence
For in my defence
The Devil stole my soul's only chance of salvation
When he smiled and took my hand to climb over Love's fences
To his dark lands of Desolation
(C)
Copyright John Duffy
Image from Pinterest.
Shared under fair usage policy.
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