The Covid Widow's Monologue

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Like an old wounded soul

Returning from waging 

a spiritual war 

in my own never-ending 

version of Armageddon

In the mythical 

middle East 

Where I eventually subjugated 

and slaughtered 

my own inner fears 

Which paraded around 

like a crimson-red beast 

I saw you again 

my kin 

like a surreal beautiful nightingale

In a deep incredible dream 

Slowly looking my way 

in the bustling crowds 

In the Great In-Between 

With such exquisite 

dark extraordinayy eyes

Such climactic things 

I'll reflect upon 

Until that final expedition home

That preordained 

mournful day 

When I'll finally whisper 

and softly say

Goodbye Mother Earth 

And willingly collapse 

to eventually die

We were once 

completely heartbroken 

outsiders 

Lost on life's so 

complicated unexplored 

wild roads 

Just stuck on it's 

sad ever-moving fast trains

Seemingly permanently 

riding around in 

revisited tragic circles 

In life's never-ending 

falling rain

But with that memory 

Of that one glance, 

within that one look 

I took by chance, 

I knew then why I was 

continually hooked

We had surreptitiously 

found a new hidden hand 

signal 

To an underground realm

Where we trafficked emotions 

mysteriously 

And no longer felt lonely 

or tainted

Emotions 

to help us stop walking 

through life feeling 

Jaded  

like one of the painted

condemned

It must have been fate 

or divine Gods 

using synchronicity to be kind

For when I saw you 

I finally remembered 

a long-lost memory 

That floated up to that 

undulating cerebral cortex

Within my mind

A vision that we were 

married together 

in another time 

Forever deemed 

to be just happy 

in another lifetime

But sometimes this version

Of life doesn't play fair 

and I again 

Have to kneel 

and blow you 

a soft tender kiss

Put some beautiful red roses 

on your much-beloved grave 

As I remember 

all those fateful mistakes 

I once unfortunately made

And as I return 

from fighting my anxiety

Drinking Southern Comfort 

to drown out the stress 

On my nightly crusades

I know you'll return 

to love me once more 

wherever you are 

No matter how far

For we'll be both soon reborn 

Because this universe 

was told to baptize us 

to never be apart 

And who am I 

to judge the great Almighty 

The true King of the Graveyard 

Who holds all those sacred 

secrets 

Of the heart?

(C)

Copyright John Duffy