Of you waltzing me around like your only chorus girl
But I was so wrong even in those moments
When we kissed and looked deep into each other's eyes
I thought you were a gentleman at heart
I should have known it wouldn't have lasted
And we too would eventually fall apart
We once danced like wild daredevils in a new red circle
Before I went to rehearsals
My mommy once said
A star was born when I entered the world
A place where blondes are at work
And men are such careless fools in all the things
They do
What did I know when out of the blue, it happened
And I fell madly in love with you
But like Ike and Tina and what happened in Flatbush
Behind all these green and black flickering lights
It’s still like being in show business and I’m still at war with you
Always suffering as my memories are still ambushed
You used to be always on my mind
For you were once like all those dark stories and deep scandals found
In Paris
Breathtaking still as I watch you
Hidden somewhere in here
From just over this grey wall
I now feel so embarrassed
Remembering when I waited by that old door in Capri Drive
Waiting for you to call home
Looking around that well-loved room
Thinking what shall I do
But you never came back
You simply disappeared into the falling rain
Away from my lodge and refuge
My hideaway by the Pacific
You went to her
From your own valley of the dolls
I later found out from all my critics
Leaving me walking around in unrelenting pain
But giving up was once so easy to do
Now I’m sat all alone in here
Just missing you
Near a new Glendale
Hidden behind this Astral Veil
You went at eight and never came home
Never called me once on my telephone
I wish I hadn’t picked up those tablets
But it’s now too late
You’re gone
Gone right out of my life
Yeah I’m angry
Still crazy
Still sat all alone just missing you
Life was so much better when we were two
But now after waiting all these long years
I’m giving up
Going to go much deeper into these dark swirling mists
For you’re never coming home and your sweet lips
I will no longer miss or
taste
Now they are just unwanted memories
Of all those beloved places
We once used to hideaway from the watching eyes of the world
To kiss
I now realize I have replaced you
For a new place called
Everlasting Love
I once found people living there who looked fine
Met a few good looking guys
Did what I had to do
Made false promises
Told plenty of lies to get what I wanted
You might never be coming home
I know that now
It’s ok if you are watching and listening
I’ll stop crying in time
For time in here just flies whatever you do
Maybe I’ll see you again
Maybe I won’t
Maybe I should have waited lived and enjoyed my wonderful life
The one that God to us all freely gives
But what the hell
Enjoy your dam life
Lost somewhere
In here
I now wake up screaming
Like Vicky Lynn
But I now know deep down
That’s the price we’ll all pay
For living lost in mortal and sexual sin
Now I'm just like a Jill McGann
Following Gods secret commands
Pray for me
My family
Old friends and viewers
For I'm going to find a new home
In this dark mist
To finally reach and kneel before him
The Almighty
To be anointed as I kiss his hands
I know I'll live forever
For my name is embedded with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
At Seventeen Sixty-Five
Vine Street
I'll live forever but who'll remember your name
My name is Carole Landis
Remember me
I was born near Kansas
On January the first
In Nineteen nineteen
In Fairchild, Wisconsin
God, if you are watching
Please forgive me for committing a mortal sin
And send all love via my golden thread
To all my kin
Before I finally cross over
Deep inside I just wanted to say
I still miss you all as my soft tears still fall
Copyright John Duffy
A monologue from an old supernatural film project, I was going to shoot but due to covid, I had to cancel.
Imagine a surreal scene as a lone female, after whispering a summoning spell by candlelight.
Starts channelling the beautiful superstar who talks in mystical poetry.
The language of the dead.
The Carole Landis tragic love story revolves around her love of a married celebrity, who ultimately left her, and according to reports, drove her to taking her own life under strange circumstances.
Is this what she would say if she got a final chance?
Did I channel her through my obsidian scrying mirror?
As I move on to a new project close to my heart, I may share more of my eerie channelling monologues from iconic historical figures.
The auditions for this particular piece was rather epic, and it's such an incredible shame, unpredictable circumstances intervened.
I may revisit this in the new future, God willing. Salute.
The last time I saw you in an old photograph you lovingly sent
I held it up close
Perused and smelled your enchanting scent
But now you've gone into the long shadows and barren fields
Filled with wild rivulets of opinions which sing painful love songs filled with discontent
I sometimes in this great golden silence wonder
Where did that golden hair girl go to pitch up her extraordinary tent
Was it in an encampment surrounded by hypnotised writers
Who hang love-struck on her every word and follow her fantastic poetic depictions
Blindly pursuing wherever she went
Or was it somewhere even more secretive
Where grey walkers in silent gardens
Gather at midnight to lament and watch the silver moon ascend
As they all huddle together looking to the stars for answers and then cheer in unison and embracing whatever is sent
It's a particular conundrum that follows me around like a wrist bound lover
Or am I just its now anointed slave
Making me wonder about the impressions I once in the middle of living
Willingly gave
That once beautiful lady who's now probably surrounded by knaves who bombard her daily with endless blue waves
Did I through my quest upon the broken mountains
Like Roland Deschain of Gilead
Make the wrong decisions which will haunt me forever as it haunted him like Jake
A complicated juxtaposition simmering barely between love and hate
Did I hurt her too much and it's now too late
Did my relentless mission to find sacred answers to life at the top of my own Dark Tower
Made me lose someone so beautiful and powerful
As I walked past her blossoming Indian Paintbrush flower
I guess as I grow older and as my life gets colder
When eventually in a few years when I stand before God and as he reads my life's great work
Contained in that occult golden shimmering folder
I can only hope and pray he doesn't say
I sent you someone so beautiful that your soul so desperately needed
To help you live a good life filled with so much love and fun
Why did you walk away my son
When all you needed to do was just reach out and hold her
Copyright John Duffy
I rather enjoyed creating this raw and emotional piece. Watching old classics in Black and White from the early throes of film-making inspires such prose. Salute.